Yup. I’ve lived through multiple friend break-ups.
Some might say that they’ve never been lucky with love. I, on the other hand, can say that I’ve never been lucky with friendship. I mean, I do have really good friends in my life at the moment and I am really thankful for them. We don’t have to speak every day or see each other every month to maintain our relationship. And when we do see each other, it feels like we were together the day before. However, to get to my current friendships, I’ve had to literary break-up with some friends. It might seem that the purpose of this story is to shit on my ex-friends, but it really isn’t. I simply want to share what these past friendships have taught me along the way.
To You, my “Kind Bully” Ex-Friend.
I will need to look for the exact term for this type of bullies, because trust me, they exist. They appear to be nice and calm. They speak in a soft voice and often do grandiose gestures to show the world how good of a friend they are. But when it comes down to it, the more time you spend with them, the more you realize that they don’t give a shit about your well-being. They actually only care about themselves. They specifically take pleasure in putting you down when it’s only the two of you. And remember, they speak in such a soft and kind voice that you don’t register that they’re insulting you. They are extremely diplomatic, I have to give them that. So to you, my “Kind Bully” ex-friend, I thank you to have taught me diplomacy. I have spent so much time with you, that I learnt how to deal with difficult people in a sensitive and effective way.
To You, my “Overly Possessive” Ex-Friend.
Do you or someone you know ever had an overly possessive partner? Now imagine if that overly possessive person was your best friend. She/he needs to know where and with who you are at all times, she/he blatantly tells you that you looked like a hooker with that new top of yours, she/he doesn’t approve of your new boyfriend and the list goes on. This was perhaps the hardest break-up for me because it was one of the longest friendships I’ve had. I got attached not only to her, but to her family as well. I spent time with her parents, her sisters, her cousins. I knew what they were allergic too, I remembered their birthdays. To you my “Overly Possessive” ex-friend, it took me a while to realize that the attention you demanded from me was just a one-way relationship. You just used me to feel in power and in control. Sometimes too much love can do that, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. In the early stages of my relationship with my now husband, I would sometimes catch myself being a possessive girlfriend. And then I would think of you… So thank you my “Overly-Possessive” ex-friend for teaching me how ugly it is to be clingy.
To you, my “Party Animal” Friend.
There is nothing wrong in being a party animal. There is something wrong when partying becomes such a big part of someone’s life that they almost go broke because they have the need to keep up with the Kardashians. The party animal always wants to be noticed and needs to be involved in a lot of social activities. They are a lot of fun, but they are also very exhausting! Partying becomes like a drug to them and well, they continuously need to get high until they reach rock bottom. They do whatever it takes to attend the coolest events in the city so when you tell them that they need to slow down, they agree with you only to go out behind your back. I honestly think that we could have still been friends today, my “Party Animal” ex-friend if I was able to keep up with you. I clearly couldn’t and although I love me some fun times, you taught me that I am an introvert and not just a boring person who can’t be around too many people for too long.
Not all friendships last forever the same way that not all love stories last a lifetime. It’s part of our journey and as painful as any break-up can be, there is always something to be grateful for. But at the end of the day, try not to be a kind overly possessive bully who parties too much. It is a recipe for disaster.